One thing you have to become accustomed to in disaster management is how quickly your situation can change. Because your status and location can change drastically in less than 24 hours, you have to be mentally prepared. For example, on Monday 9/19, I was still stuck in a holding pattern at the JFO in Albany. Monday evening, our team was notified that we would be opening up a Disaster Recovery Center 3 hours away the next morning, and by Tuesday morning we were checked out of our hotel, driving 3 hours to Binghamton, facilitating a “soft” opening of the DRC, and dealing with a deluge of FEMA applicants.
When we were assigned to open this DRC, no one realized we would be so overrun with applicants. However, by late morning that Wednesday, we were SOS’ing Albany with an immediate need for more help. While it’s definitely been a rough adjustment to a completely different type of environment (12 hours of work, plus 1 hour commute time to and from the DRC each day, 6 days a week + having to help victims who are beyond stressed out, and many times in shock), I prefer the 100mph pace.
Work in the field is definitely very taxing. The 70-80 hour weeks are tiring in and of themselves, but I have to say, the hours don’t light a candle to the emotional toll this job takes on you. It is impossible to work with people affected by a disaster, people who have lost their homes and everything they’ve worked so hard for in life, and not feel profound empathy for them. On more than one occasion, after working with flood survivors who lost everything and having to tell them FEMA could not help them in their particular case, I couldn’t help myself from breaking down and crying in the break room. I realize I cannot personally help each individual who walks through our DRC door, but even in light of that realization, I can’t just push aside my feelings. I can’t compartmentalize that sadness and push it to a place where I don’t think about it, particularly when I’m confronted by those stories of sadness day in and day out. That emotional toll is by far, the most difficult aspect of this job.
While field work is difficult, it can also be very rewarding. The people FEMA cannot help are typically in the minority. Many times we are able to help people get back on their feet and start them on a path toward rebuilding their lives. Those cases, and the occasional smiles, are what I try my hardest to hold on to.
